Fun Stuff
by Aragem
Summary: Series of Short fics starring OOCs from Pink and Red and cannon characters. Chapter Four: Margery discovers something about Crash and the Lamorghini twins.
1. Chapter 1

I don't know why I wrote this. I wrote this out of fun and to have something to do. This is a short series of stories about the antics of Crash, Margery, and co. and a few faces you'll see later on Pink and Red.

The usual warnings. Severe adult language, adult situations, drug references, drug use, and this story just ain't for kids at all.

Transformers belong to Hasbro.

Margery, Crash, and so on belong to me cuz I made them up.

The Little Mermaid purely belongs to Disney as does the song Part of Your World. Not MINE, DISNEY'S.

I don't know or how, but this came to me while driving in my car to somewhere.

Some of the dialogue in this chapter is from an ongoing RPG Tiamat1972 and I got going. She RPed as the Lambo twins and did a REALLY GOOD job whereas I played as Margery and Crash.

So now you know what I've been doing the last several weeks when I wasn't updating the fic.

Mermaid on Acid

The Well of Transformation sucks ass.

"C'mon, sing it."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Awww, if our Little Mermaid on Acid feeling a bit off today?"

"Sideswipe, I swear to everything that is Holy and Good I will kick your metal ass."

The large red mech just laugh jostling the high tech camera he held to his face, almost hiding the goofy grin. "Get in line sweet heart, now sing."

Margery crossed her arms tightly over her chest and looked away. Her black fish tail flapped angrily on the rock Sideswipe had put her on at the shallow edge of a river when she was well on her way back to the Well of Transformation to get her legs back after living the life of a honest to God mermaid for half a day.

Her damp hair hung down her back like a wet rag and her long sleeve blouse, which was untouched by the transformation, was still wet and was making her cold. She wanted to swim back to the Well of Transformation, change back into human form, and go home on Cosmos, but NOOOOOOOO . . .. big ass jerk just had to lift her out of the water, put her on this rock, pull this camera out and tell her that she had to sing a certain song before he would let that happen.

"Slaggit, glitch, just sing the fraggin' song already so we can go!" The second thing crawling up her ass snarled.

"You take the camera away from him!" She yelled.

"Nope, he wants to hear you sing this just like me. Sing." Sideswipe hefted the camera.

"Crash! Do something!" She yelled at the brown and green who was standing in the background, shaking his head, trying to look invisible.

"What?" He held up his hands and motioned at the mechs who were no doubt bigger than him, more skilled in combat then him, and had more firepower than him.

She threw up her hands in frustration. "I am NOT singing!"

"Then strip. I put this on the market. Real live mermaid strip tease." Sideswipe suggested.

"Fuck you!"

"Really? I'd like to see that, sweetie..." The bastard even had the gall to lower the camera and wink at her.

"Aw shit." She muttered. "I'm going to tell Optimus Prime on ya'll."

"Tattletale." Sideswipe quipped. "C'mon, just sing it. Sally'll love it. You know how she likes watching that movie."

"Yeah, and you the bastard that bought her the DVD copy of it so now I gotta watch that Disney shit everyday and miss MASH."

"Jazz, what's the hold up, turkeys." Jazz voice broke out through a comlink of which was in Crash's hands.

Thank you, God! "JAZZ! SIDESWIPE IS ACTIN' LIKE A JACKASS!" She screamed.

"Whoa, sugar, Crash, what's shakin'?"

Crash gave the twin an apologetic look. "Uhh . . .Sideswipe has Margery on a rock and won't let her go to the Well of Transformation until she sings a song on camera."

"What song?"

Crash told him.

"Tell 'er to wait till I get there. I gotta download this with my own optics."

Margery screamed. Just one long ragged scream of frustration. "FUCK YOU ALL!"

She rolled off the rock. She hit the small stones, banging her elbows and tail on the smooth stones. She clutched at the rocks, painfully dragging herself along to the water. Her tail was no help. The scales stubbed against the stones sending small shocks of pain along her large limb.

"Oi, the fish lady is escaping!" Sideswipe admonished.

She heard the loud crunching of his huge feet on the ground. She doubled her efforts, but tree like black fingers clutched her about the waist and shoulders gently and lifted her up, a second hand scooped under her bottom, cupping her tail and she was lifted up into the air. She futilely smacked at the metal and her black tail flopped against the ebony hand.

"STOP IT!" She screeched as Sideswipe simply placed her back on the rock.

He stood straight and wring out his hands. "Gross, I bet my hands smell like fish."

She flipped him off.

He flipped her back.

She double flipped him back.

"Settle down now, children."

Aw shit, it was Jazz pulling up with Cosmos levitating toward them. Great, wonderful, more people to witness her humiliation. The black and white Porsche transformed into a grinning robot. "Did she sing it yet?"

"No, but she will." Sideswipe summoned his camera and trained it on Margery.

"This is bullshit!" She shrieked. "Jazz! Make him leave me along so I can get my legs back!"

"Aw, just sing the song. Ya don't even have to sing the whole thing, just the good part."

"No!"

"What? You don't know the lyrics?"

"I know the fucking lyrics! I watch that goddamn movie enough as it is!"

"Then sing it, honey, Sally would like it."

She didn't know why, but Jazz's voice was like soothing balm to her irked senses. She felt herself relaxing and eyeing the black and white mech. "Sally would like it?"

"Yeah, I'm sure she would, won't she Sideswipe?" Jazz gave Sideswipe a gentle nudge.

Ever since the three year old arrived in Alabama with her twelve year old sister, Rachel, she had been Sideswipe's little sweetheart (as Grandma Rose would call it). The little girl took an instant liking to the large red goofball and it seemed that Sideswipe had latched onto her along with her shy elder sister. He visited not only to hang with Crash, chat with Grandma, annoy Margery, but to also watch Disney cartoons with Sally and try to coax Rachel out of her shell.

There had to be something comical to be found watching a three year old little girl sitting on the giant mech's huge lap watching an animated Disney movie and singing along to the songs with him. Send them to Ripley's Believe it or Not.

Margery couldn't help, but like the little girl. She was sweet and didn't come with preset judgements about her like most people do. Margery remembered the time the little girl came to her begging her to read her a bedtime story or play with her. It had embarrassed Margery to no extent to sit cross legged at a small table and pretend the cheap little plastic cups held tea in them. But it made Sally happy.

"This would make Sally happy?" She repeated, but mostly to have herself convinced one more time.

"She would love it." Sideswipe promised her. "I'll even edit out the your swearing and not so nice gestures."

"And the video would be for Kayla family only? I don't the Ark to watch this and I don't the internet, yeah, I fucking know you got a website, Side."

"Deal, no Ark, no internet." Sideswipe promised with the small bob of the camera.

Margery glared up at him. "I will NEVER EVER do this again, got it? Not even if Megatron has his big cannon aimed at my head, I will tell him to go to hell before I sing that song."

"Deal." She could see the triumphant grin on his face.

"I'm only singing last half of the song, okay. Cause I know that part the best."

"Fine."

"And . . ."

"Just sing the song already!" Sunstreaker snarled from where he had been standing fidgeting with his arms crossed and give searing looks at bother Sideswipe and her.

"Shut up!" Margery snapped.

Sunstreaker narrowed his blue optics to icy slits that would have any Autobot nervous and Decepticon fearful. Margery did feel a quiver of fear, but fuck it, she spent a month in Decepticon captivity and she knew this evil optic look was to merely put her in her place from a distance. She glared back, her pride not allowing her to break optic/eye contact with him.

"Okay, children, let's settle down now. Margery, you got a song to sing and take your time." Jazz said smoothing over the rough air between her and the gold mech.

Margery took a breath. Just do it. No worse than snatching out an infected eyelash or taking off a band aide.

I wanna be where the people are  
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'  
Walking around on those - what do you call 'em?  
Oh - feet!

Flippin' your fins . . .

"Maggie, flip your fin." Sideswipe ordered.

"Like hell and my name is Margery, motherfucker." Margery snarled.

"Flip your fin when you sing that line. Gives it a little effect, ya know."

"What are ya, a director now?"

"Yeah and I'm directin' you to flip your fin."

"Here!" Margery held up her middle finger. "How's that for a flip?"

"Ya know somethin' . . .I'm gonna show this to Sally uncut."

Margery dropped her hand and her jaw fell open. "You would NOT show . . .that little girl any of . . .of . . .that!"

"Yes, I would."

Sideswipe wasn't a liar. Sure, he would dodge and skate around the truth and lie through omission, but when he stated he was going to do something, then he did it. He didn't bluff.

God in Heaven, if Sally saw it, then no doubt Grandma was going to see it too . . .shit . . .

Her fin reluctantly hopped and lay still on the rock.

"C'mon, do it with a smile."

"I'll kick your ass with a smile too." She pulled the corner of her lips into a false grin, but it was enough for Sideswipe to motion for to continue. The others had stayed back and watched with great interest and she had no choice. They weren't going anywhere until she finished the song.

Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far  
Legs are required for jumping, dancing  
Strolling along down a - what's that word again?  
Street

Up where they walk, up where they run  
Up where they stay all day in the sun  
Wanderin' free - wish I could be  
Part of that world

"Hey, don't sing it so fast." Crash blurted from the back. "You're rushing the words."

This earned him a scathing look from Margery. "I didn't know you listened to the song."

"Hey, Sally hasn't been playing it enough for me not to know the words."

"Crash, babe."

"Yeah, Margery."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Yes ma'am."

"We-chi!" Sideswipe popped an imaginary whip and Sunstreaker gave Crash a disappointed and disgusted look. Crash looked sheepishly away from his friend and crush.

Margery continued.

What would I give if I could live out of these waters?  
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?  
Bet'cha on land they understand  
That they don't reprimand their daughters  
Bright young women sick of swimmin'  
Ready to stand

I'm ready to know what the people know  
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers  
What's a fire and why does it - what's the word?  
Burn?

"Cut, Maggie, I want ya to clasp both hands on your chest during the last part." Sideswipe ordered.

"Stop interrupting me! Damn! Ya'll crawl up my ass for me to sing this shitty song and ya'll gonna harp on me about how I sing it! Ya'll, shut up lemme finish this fucking song, okay?"

"But put your hands on your chest . . ."

"Okay! My chest! Fine, my chest!" She grasped the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up.

"Margery . . .!" Crash moaned in horror.

"Yeah! Yeeah! That's right! Mermaids Gone Wild! Slag, I'm gonna make thousands offa this!" Sideswipe dropped to his knees and was no doubt zooming in on Margery's exposed breasts. The cool air and the cold damp shirt brought out her own headlights.

She yanked her shirt down. "Can I now PLEASE finish the song?"

"Fine, fine, shoot, go for it." Jazz murmured soothingly.

When's it my turn?  
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?  
Out of the sea  
Wish I could be  
Part of that world

"There! Song over! NOW can I go get my legs back?"

Sally did not like the video. In fact, it scared her.

Why? It wasn't known for sure. Maybe it was so unnerving to see a family relative looking so different, or maybe it was the big black fish tail and Margery's dark features combined.

Sideswipe didn't make things better when he soothed a sobbing Sally after viewing the carefully edited footage.

"There, there, Sal, Maggie makes a scary mermaid, don't she?" He spoke softly to the little girl sobbing into his large black hands.

"Fu . . .Screw you!" Margery snapped.

With this Sideswipe winked at her. "Mermaid Gone Wild is a smashing success amongst the Autobot crowd, ya know."

Margery stared up at him from her lounge chair. The new trailer Grapple built for her after Devestator destroyed her old one had been built with Crash in mind. They held a huge screen monitor for television and DVDs and one wall was able to flip open to allow Crash to view the monitor with Margery easily. She would sometimes get out a lounge chair and watch outside with him or whichever Autobot came calling.

"You said no Ark." Margery whispered.

"And I didn't show it in the Ark. I showed it outside the Ark. . ." He smirked at her. "The uncut version . . ."

"Holy shit!"


	2. Real Man

WARNINGS: This contains severe adult language and adult situations.

* * *

Why did she come?

Well for starters, Crash was suppose to come. But no! He had to take a spill off a cliff and damage himself to the extent that Ratchet wouldn't let him take one step out of the infirmary until he was repaired which should be by morning. She wanted to stay behind with him, not come tonight, but NOOOOO . . . fucking Sideswipe scooped her up in one hand and carried her out of the Ark in hi alt-mode ignoring her screams of protests as he trailed behind Jazz, carrying Blaster, and Sunstreaker.

What was going down in Portland was a concert for a particularly popular band. The attending Autobots were volunteers as crowd control and also used as publicity for the sponsors of the concert. It was during that weekend that Margery and Crash were visiting. It was easy to convince Crash to go, but Margery was against it from the start.

She had been recently released from the institution with a supply of pills that blocked her clairvoyance to a high degree. Life was more bearable, but she wasn't ready to go into a thick throng of people rubbing and brushing against each other in dance. No sir, no ma'am, that wasn't for her.

The ONLY reason she agreed to go was that Crash was going to be there, they weren't going to stay long, and Crash promised that she could sit on his shoulder if she didn't think she could handle the thick crowd. Also, Sideswipe swore he would stop calling her The Little Mermaid on Acid if she went.

Now that Crash wasn't able to go, Margery was more than ready to call it quits and stay at the Ark for the night, but Sideswipe had other plans.

"Maggie, just lemme put you down . . ."

"Fuck no!" She snapped clinging to Jazz's hands.

"Nobody is gonna . . ."

"I said no!"

Jazz took a long sigh. Since they got there, Margery adamantly refused to be set amongst her fellow humans. She had been passed around amongst Blaster, Jazz, and Sideswipe. Sunstreaker refused to have anything to do with her which was just fine with her cause she didn't want anything to do with him.

Jazz placed her up onto his shoulder. "Gonna hafta get over this fear, Tiger."

Another thing that had started to annoy her was Blaster's nickname for her which Jazz had adopted. Tiger. "I don't have a fear."

"Then lemme . .. "

"No."

"Oooookaaay."

Margery looked down at the thick crowd Jazz was wading through. It was a mass of young dancing adults having a good time, but to her it looked like a pit of razor blades and Jazz and the Autobots were her high planes of safety. She knew she was acting like a child not wanting to be put down, but each time she looked down at the crowd of people it sent shivers up and down her spine.

"Hey, sweetie!" A voice called up from the ground.

Margery looked down to see a trio of three men, around her age each with a beer bottle in hand. The one who spoke was the all around blonde hair and blue eye gorgeous guy who had no doubt he was going to be sleeping with some lucky girl. The all around stud muffin, God in Heaven. . .

"Why don't ya come on down and hang out on a REAL man's shoulder?" His buddies laughed.

"Go fuck your buddies, faggot!" Margery called down.

The mirth evaporated on their faces. Obviously this was not the reaction they had hoped for. The stud furrowed his brow and glared up at her. "Scared of real dick?"

"Naw, just prefer hard thick big metal to tiny weak limpdick!" Margery retorted. "Get the hell outta here!"

"Forget the bitch, Mike." One of his friend tugged on his arm. "Got nicer pussy around here that ain't hanging off tin men."

Margery watched the men go satisfied, until Jazz turned his head and gave her a hard look. "Tiger, that wasn't nice."

"What? He said you weren't a real man!"

"And he's right. Suga, you ferget, I may be masculine with the voice and shape, but I ain't male, no more than you. And he wasn't tryin' to offend, he was jokin' and tryin' to get with you. But that ain't the reason you actin' all ugly to him, was it?"

Margery crossed her arms. "I didn't like him."

"At first sight? Honey, you gotta give people chances. Remember, you hated the Jazz-man's internals when we met, now look at ya, you here sittin' on ma shoulder. You mighta had a nice date if you budged an inch with people you meet."

Margery didn't respond. She sat with her arms crossed and didn't look at him. She hated being scolded and lectured as if she was a child. Bad enough she was being passed around like baby, now she was really being treated like a child. Jazz studied her for a second and then to her horror, lifted her off his shoulder with both hands and lowered her onto the floor.

"Jazz! No! Dammit! No!"

"Yes, yer gonna spend ten minutes on the floor. Nobody is gonna bite you. Jazz-man right here lookin' out for you, yer alright."

Her thin boots touched the floor and she held onto Jazz's hands hoping he'd come to his senses and pick her back up. She looked wildly around at the organic mass of people around her. This was worst than the high school halls with wave after wave of students walking in packs and herds toward lunch and classes and home. This was much worse, no one was going anywhere and this wouldn't end when a bell rang three minutes later, this was going to last and she was stuck in it.

Jazz gently and firmly removed his hands from her small grasps and gave her some more words of gentle encouragement. She shook her head and nearly ran to his leg to cling to it like a lifeline. She halted herself in mid-stride. No, she wouldn't act childishly, she would stay near him, but she was NOT going to cling to his leg and he did say just ten minutes . . .

Okay, she could do this. It should be fine. She turned around to face the crowd and felt like an idiot. She was dressed for clubbing. Tight black pants, black boots, and a halter top with white on black flower design. Her hair was washed and neatly brushed and hung about her shoulders. She even applied a bit of blush and light eye shadow. She even wore lipstick for the first time in years. But she was the only girl not dancing or making out with some guy.

Okay . . .what to do . . .no, don't look at Jazz . . .you can do this . . .go out and start dancing . . .music is . . .not your kind . . .shit . . .shit . . .How in FUCK did Crash talk her into coming? She didn't know this band and she didn't like the music . . .and she DIDN"T dance! Not even at home, in her bedroom, or in the bathroom. The only dancing she did was to stomp the hell outta roaches and ants.

Oh, shit! That guy just put his tongue in that girl's mouth . . .and not there is a spit rope between their mouths . . .Jesus H. Christ, those two are rubbing . . .no, they are not rubbing, they are fucking. Holy Shit! What the hell happen? All the hotels in Portland get booked? Is Jazz seeing this? Goddammit, girl caught me looking . . .hey, bitch, don't give me the skank eye, you can have him and his three inch wonder. Ain't enough for me, look behind me skank, see that thirty foot mech . . .that's mine, all mine and I . . .WHAT THE FUCK? Somebody touched my ass? JAZZ! You fucker! You're suppose to be watching out for me, what the fuck you doing . . .oh, I see, listening to the music, okay fine, you big dumbfuck, listen to the music while I get molested at your feet . . . "Well, Optimus Prime, I was stylin' with the music and how was I suppose to hear Tiger getting raped". . . motherfucker. Shit, this fucker stinks. Goddamn BO. . .Ow! My foot! Son of a bitch that hurt . . .get that clunker outta here . . .okay people, I came here to hear the band sing, not YOU and you're wheezing little goose honks, damn!

Then she was lifted up and she saw Jazz's pleased smile as he set her on his shoulder. "Was that so bad, Tiger?"

Worse, but . .. She shrugged her shoulders. "Better than I thought."

Jazz grinned at her and it was one of those grins that would look more on place on a human face than his. It was full of heat and made a little ball grow in her lower stomach. She shifted on his shoulder to get comfortable and to use as an excuse to look away. She knew why he was so arousing.

He was safe. Jazz could flirt and woo human women as much as he wanted and they would fall for him one by one because of one simply thing. He wasn't a real man. He wasn't a man that could fuck you and then hunt for more tail. He couldn't sleep with your sister or best friend, he could drag you off behind a building or into an alley or backseat and rape and hurt you, not because he wouldn't do it, but because he COULDN'T do it. And women find they could easily flirt and tease Autobots or better yet Transformers because they knew they wouldn't be expected to fulfill promises or expectations. There was no demands or disappointments with them.

Ironically, women could feel like real women around them because Autobots weren't real men at all.

Margery sat on his shoulder and thought of Crash. Was that why they had become friends so easily? Because he was male, but wasn't really a male? She never felt any sexual feelings toward him and she was sure he didn't feel any for her. There was no sexual tension or ideals to get in the way of their friendship. It sadden her to think that she wouldn't give him the time of day if he had been a human guy to begin with.

She felt a touch at her leg. Jazz had gave her thigh a pat. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus while Transformers are from Cybertron."

"Yeah, and Ponies are from Ponyland."

"Smart ass."


	3. Unfinished

This is sort of unfinished and will remain so. Because there was two ways I could have gone with this and as I started writing, neither way felt right. One way, I felt the characters were out of character and the other way just didn't seem right to me so I decided to cut the chapter short.

This is a short continuation of the previous chapter. Enjoy.

Also, if anyone wants to finish it, be my guest, just credit Margery and Crash to me.

The next Autoboto to be her lifeline was Sideswipe.

"Now how was the little sweetheart?" Sideswipe sang as he came over to take her from Jazz.

"You suck." Margery replied glaring at him, arms crossed.

"Now, now." Sideswipe chided as he reached out and lifted her off Jazz's shoulder. "You don't act nice and you won't get any ice cream."

Margery wanted to tell him what he could do with ice cream, but thought better against it lest he would 'accidentally' drop her. She held onto his hands as he settled her on his shoulder. She caught a notion of vertigo for a second, being that he was taller than Jazz and it made the floor below look further away.

"Tiger stayed on the floor for ten whole minutes." Jazz praised her.

"Ten whole minutes? Wow!" Sideswipe gasped in the same way a mother would act impress if told her child had taken his or her first steps or said their first word for a babysitter.

"Be good, Tiger." She couldn't see it, but she was willing to bet that Jazz had just winked at her. "Need me, call me.:  
Sideswipe placed an ebony hand over her legs hanging over the edge of his shoulder. "Don't worry. Tigger gets outta hand I'll put her little aft in timeout so fast it'll make her little head spin."  
With that, Margery flung out her hand and grazed it harmlessly along the edge of his helm. "Pimp smack!"

Sideswipe threw back his head and ripped the blaring music from the concert with a high laugh. Margery held onto his shoulder as it shook beneath her, but fortunately, Sideswipe's hand tightened on her legs keeping her in place.

"Take care cat and Tiger." Jazz waved as he went off to join the fun and/or take his position on crowd control.

Sideswipe's laughter calmed down to a dull chortle and Margery was able to release her death grip on the metal beneath her. Sideswipe's hand fell away and he turned his head to give her a goofy grin.

"Wanna spend ten minutes on the floor again?"

"No way, you'd leave my ass."

"Wanna dance?"

"No, I'm not a dancing girl."

"Why you here?"

"Cause you fucking kidnap me, remember?"

"You need to lighten up, have some fun. You're so tense."

"Fuck you."  
"Love to see that, sweetie." Wink.

Margery shook her head. "How much longer is this concert?"

"What do you think? As long as there's ladies, booze, and drugs around, they're gonna be hanging around."

"Shit." Margery reached into her pocket for her lighter and cigarette pack.

"Nope." As soon as they came to light, they were confiscated by a giant thumb and forefinger pick from her hand and tossed to the floor.

"Motherfucker!" Margery yelled reaching out together the falling pack and lighter as if by some miracle she could summon them back into her grasp. However, the miracle didn't come and they bounce on the pavement and she blinked once and were gone from sight now belonging to one of the partiers below.

"You son of a bitch." Margery seethed glaring at the large head of Sideswipe. "That was my only lighter and I don't have any cash on me to buy more cigarettes."

"Don't need 'em. Turn your inner intakes black anyway." Sideswipe replied.

"Fuck you!"

"Ya know, sweetie, one of these days . . ." Sideswipe gave her a leering grin. "I'm gonna take ya up on that."

Margery couldn't stop the wave of disgust tinged with fear from washing over her. But that wasn't the worst feeling that rolled through her. What was worst was the heated arousal that flowed through.

She was irritated. No nicotine was a bitch. Ever since she forced off the heroin by the Decepticons, and was forced into rehab for drug addiction, she had used cigarettes as her rebound drug. Crash didn't mind it too much, he drove with the windows down and they discovered that Febreze worked wonders inside of Transformers.

She was pissed. Sideswipe kept jabbing at her and would only laugh or toss aside any insult she threw at him. She wanted a drink, but guess what, she didn't bring any money with her to buy one and she wasn't in the mood or had the wiles to attract a man enough for him to buy a drink for her. She rather die than ask Sideswipe to loan her some cash or credit, whatever the Autobots used to buy stuff on Earth. She wasn't going to throw fuel on the fire.

Sideswipe on the other hand wasn't going to let the anti-social human female on his shoulder keep him from having a good time. He chatted with curious humans while Margery sat stoic on his shoulder and stayed out of the conversation the best she could. He even, to her shock, tried to pick up a group of girls.

"Ain't she with you?" A petite blonde pointed a long red manicured finger at Margery as her friends giggled together.

"This?" He pointed at Margery as if he forgot she was there. "I'm getting this looked at tomorrow. The Doc says he'll test it to make sure its benign."

The girls shrilled with laughter and Margery stared in furious shock at Sideswipe. The bastard. She twisted herself on his shoulder and aimed kick after kick at his audio with the bottom of one boot.

"Hey! Hey! Quit that!" Sideswipe snapped tilting his head away from her weak blows. He reached up and cupped her in one hand and lowered her toward the floor. "You can hangout on the floor then!"

"Dammit!" She yelled as emerged into the crowd below. She clung to his fingers, practically hugging his middle finger to her chest. Sideswipe easily flexed his finger free and she was on the pavement again reaching up to him like a child begging for her mother's attention.

"Uhhh . . .hey." The girl offered from behind Margery. The mirth had faded now that the subject of their amusement was now on their ground level with them.

Margery didn't look at her, simply turned and walked off. Her anger overshadowed her fear and her fear fed her anger. She hated being here, she didn't want to be here, she didn't even want to come. She did it for Crash and since he's not here, she shouldn't have to be here. She was only here because that fucking Sideswipe couldn't take no for an answer.

Okay, okay, don't freak out. Her front brushed against taller man's back as she attempted to maneuver through the bodies. Just stay angry, just think about the shit Sideswipe put you through. Okay, okay . . .fuck . . . hands off, dammit.

She wrenched herself from some drunkard who was either asking her to dance with him or sleep with him.

"Maggie!" She heard Sideswipe call her, which was just what she needed to spur her on.

Let 'im follow after her like the dog that he was. She wasn't going back with him nor was she going to fuckin' sit on his shoulder be the butt of his stupid jokes. She didn't understand why the hell Sideswipe couldn't leave her alone. It was bad enough he was always hanging out with Crash that she had to deal with him when they came to the Ark and when he came down to Alabama on his days off. For some reason she couldn't fathom he wanted to push himself on her even when Crash wasn't around. Well, fuck 'im.

"Maggie, come back here."

No, she wasn't even going to grace him with a glance. Just keep going. She'll find Jazz and MAKE him take her home. And if he wouldn't, then she will WALK back to the Ark and as soon as Crash is able to step out of the repair bay without Ratchet swooping at him like some white buzzard he was to DRIVE her home to Alabama. She didn't understand why she bother coming to Oregon with Crash. He could easily drive there on his own without her company, hell, he could even live up here with his own kind . . .

Shit, she didn't want that, she didn't want that at all.

"GODDAMMIT!"

Shit. She had stumbled trying to avoid this humping couple to collide into this man from behind. He turned his dark eyes fierce and the front of his shirt drench. He grasped an empty plastic cup and it crumpled in his tightened grip.

"Sorry." Margery pacified and turned to continue on her way, but her arm was seized and she was yank back around.

"Sorry ain't good enough, bitch." The man snarled and grasped her other arm.

Margery winced. Though her divination was deadened by the medication given by the institute she still received strong feelings. This man was pissed big time. He caught his girlfriend making out with some off duty cop last week, his car got towed, and when he came to the concert, his date bailed on him with some rich fuck and now his shirt was wet and he was ready to release some frustration on someone. Margery was right in the crosshairs.

"Let go!" Margery yelled which went unheard, absorbed by the band's blaring music.

"Shut up!" The man snarled and reared back a hand to perform a backhanded sweep at her.

The blow never came. Giant black fingers plucked the man from the pavement and he instantly released Margery's arms. The man was brought face to face with a peeved Sideswipe.

"Look, man, you wanna hit somebody, try hitting me." Sideswipe chided coolly. The man blanched and was stammering out apologies and 'I'll never do it again' and so forth. Sideswipe waved them aside. "I suggest you leave the concert and cool down somewhere before I want to relieve some frustrations on you."

Sideswipe set the man on the pavement and watched him scramble through the staring crowd. He looked around and saw Margery standing aside looking shaken and pale. "Maggie."

The human looked up dazed and then her optics narrowed as she remembered that she was pissed at him. She turned to escape, but Sideswipe was quicker. He scooped her up one hand before she could get out of reach.

"Sorry, honey, but I ain't in the mood to chase after you all night." Sideswipe told her cupping her with both hands.

Margery steadied herself by holding onto his fingers and glared up at him. "Leave me out of your jokes, okay? I know you like pissing me off, but I don't like it so piss off or take me home."

"Hey, is that anyway to talk to someone who just saved you?" Sideswipe gave her a mockingly hurt look.

"Don't give me that. You know and I know that if came back to the Ark with a black eye under your not so loving care then Crash would tear up your ass." Sideswipe looked at her with disbelief evident in his optics. The look was so intense that Margery had to look away and mutter, "Or he'll _try _to."

Sideswipe placed her on his shoulder. "Okay, I'll lay off for the rest of my babysitting shift."

"Thank you." Margery replied steely.


	4. Relationship

A great deal of this chapter I gotta dedicate and give credit to Tiamat and our ongoing RPG. So as not to ruin the surprise in this chapter, further credits will be continued at the end.

She didn't know why or how, but Sideswipe would save up his days off to come down south to Alabama and hang out with Crash and the girls. He was out there now, with his twin, listening to Sally recite a new song she learned from preschool. Margery looked up from her textbook to glance out the door to see the amusing sight of three mechs sitting on the grass watching a little girl perform a nursery rhyme.

Of course, when Sally finished, Sideswipe had questions.

"How in the Pit does a rabbit scoop up field mice?" Sideswipe asked. "I mean, he don't have thumbs. Does he pick 'em up like this?" He held out his hands straight, the thumbs tucked against the palms and held a Transformer's scaled inch away. "If he does than how does he bop 'em on the head?"

Sally giggled. "I don't know."

Sunstreaker moaned in annoyance and Crash's lip components were tightened to hold back a snicker.

"Does he bop the mice like this?" Sideswipe swatted the invisible air quickly near his still straightened out hand. "Like get a whack in before the fall or does he toss 'em up and then swat 'em like a baseball?"

"He scoops them up!" Sally told him.

"Oh! So he scoops up like this." Sideswipe made a scooping motion with one hand and made a swatting motion above the cupped hand. "Okay, I get it now."

Margery couldn't tell if he was acting like a fool on purpose or he was being serious. She decided she didn't want to know and turned back to her text. She needed to get this story read by Tuesday for her English lit class.

Ever since her rescue from the Decepticons, she had been undergoing something her grandmother would say reformation. She was off the drugs (other than the occasional sneaked joint), her prostitution had stopped completely (other than Sideswipe teasingoffering her a fifty if she would posed naked for some online photos, which was refused), and now she was taking some high school/college courses.

She went twice a week to classes and did her assignments on her days off. She decided to go for an English major, being that her literature classes had been the ones where she had made a passing grade. It had taken some getting use to, not having all of her time as her own, but after a while, when it had finally became routine, she had fallen into the flow of going to lectures, taking notes, and reading the needed material for each class.

So far, she had manage to keep her grades up to above average and this pleased her grandmother greatly. Grandma Rose must have plans for her graduating and getting a decent job somewhere. Margery wasn't sure, she never had any plans for the future other than where she was going to get the money to buy her next fix.

Rachel was in the far corner doing her homework also. She was quiet and was a hard worker when it came to her schoolwork. Transferring to the local school didn't effect her grades that much at all.

"How ya doing over there?" Margery asked the girl.

Rachel looked up a bit startled and nodded. "I'm doing alright."

"Those guys get too loud, lemme know and I'll go out and scream at 'em."

A shadow of a smile touched the girl's lips. "They're not too loud."

"Good, then I don't need to strain my voice." Margery replied bending back over her too big and too expensive textbook.

The girls lived with Grandma Rose, who somehow due to insurance reasons after the Decepticon attack, though Margery had a reason to suspect that Optimus Prime had a hand in it, was award enough money to purchase a small house and enough money to cover living expenses for a while.

Rachel came only because it was Sally that loved visiting with Crash and seeing Sideswipe if he was there. Margery didn't mind it so much. They were a great deal better than the kids that use to come back. They had moved after the Decepticon occupation due to their father's weed garden being burned up in the attack.

Margery leaned back in her chair and procured a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from a drawer. She looked over at Rachel. "Mind if I smoke? I'll blow it out the window."

Rachel looked up and shook her head. "I don't mind."

"Thanks." Margery light one up and took a slow drag. She turned on a small fan at the desk corner and it gently blew the smoke out the open window.

"Maggie, quit smoking!" Sideswipe loud and obnoxious blared into the silence.

"Fuck you!" She yelled back. She could see Sideswipe giving her a mock glare through the window at her. Sally was in his hand giving Margery an oddly similar look.

"And watch your fraggin' mouth around the kids!" Sideswipe scolded.

"They're gonna hear from somebody in their lives." Margery replied evenly. "Get outta here, we're tryin' to do our damn schoolwork."

"Hey . . ." Crash soothed them. "Let's not start this now. Side, don't you have to be on duty tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we do." Sunstreaker answered.

"Nooooooo!" Sally protested, it ended with a small break in her voice. "Stay!"

"Can't, Sal." Sideswipe cupped the little girl in both hands. "Mean ole Prowl sez I gotta show up for guard duty tomorrow. If I don't, I get time out in the brig."

Sally whimpered, hating the unfair world that she couldn't stay with Sideswipe forever. "Don't go."

Margery set down her highlighter in annoyance. Sideswipe was going get that little girl upset and who was going to have to have her around crying and listening to her 'I want Side' sobs, it was going to be her and Crash. "Sally!"

Sally kept whimpering, but turned her head to look at Margery who was standing at the window.

"Honey, how about when Rachel and I get done with homework, how about we go get pizza from Pizza Hut and get some ice cream. We'll even go rent some DVDs. You wanna watch Finding Nemo?"

Sally nodded her head, rubbing a teary eye with a wrist and slowly brightened at the thought of a fun night. Sideswipe scowled at Margery and she smirked at him. Sideswipe then gave her a leer and said, "Rachel, you got Spring Break coming up right?"

Rachel looked up from her homework surprised. She set aside her pencil and climbed to her feet. "Uhhhh . . .yes." The shy girl stepped slowly over to the window beside Margery.

"Then how about Margery and Crash bring you two to the Ark on that week."

Margery's jaw dropped. Sally beamed and Margery knew that it was set. If she didn't take Sally to the Ark for Spring Break then she would be forever labeled as a bad cousin in the little girl's eyes and Sideswipe would no doubt encourage this view.

The bastard had just stolen her week off with one sentence. Motherfucker!

Margery twisted away from the window and stormed to the front door of the trailer. The trailer had been created by Grapple after her last trailer bit the dust when Devestator chucked it at, none other than Sideswipe himself where it spilt in two. The trailer Grapple created for her was . . . different. He didn't want to be confined to the rectangular shape of her old one and thus created a trailer, which resembled a small house on wheels. To Margery's delight it contained items that Grapple knew was highly desired by humans and had installed a Jacuzzi for the bathtub and it held a memory foam bed. Margery was living in style for the first time in her life and she loved it.

She got to the front porch just as Sideswipe was setting Sally on the grass near it. Margery stepped off the steps to lift the girl onto the porch. "Go inside and go watch cartoons. But keep the tv down cause Rachel is still doing her homework."

"Okay, Maggie." The child complied by toddling off inside.

Margery shut the door and waited for a few seconds for Sally to get out of earshot and turned on Sideswipe. "Thanks a fucking lot."

"Why, you are very welcome, Maggie." Sideswipe with his usual stupid grin. "I look forward to seeing you for Spring Break."

"Fuck you."

Sideswipe's usual response of 'I'd love to see that' didn't come. In fact, he got a leering look and Margery could have sworn he glance at Crash. "Sunny, we better go if we're gonna make it back in time to catch a few hours of recharge."

"Yeah, sure." Sunstreaker was already on his feet and transforming. "You comin'?"

"Yeah, be followin' you in a minute." Sideswipe rocked easily to his feet and stepped over to Crash and plopped onto his knees.

Margery cocked an eyebrow and stared.

Crash sat back on his aft, his legs stretched out before him and Sideswipe easily kneel astride them and easily towered over the smaller mech. Margery couldn't help, but thing that Sideswipe was invading Crash's space a bit.

"Need me, call me, kay?" Sideswipe cupped both of Crash's audios in his large warrior hands and brought his face very close. "I'll call ya tonight when I get back, kay?"

_Waitaminute, what the hell is this? _Margery stared, both eyebrows rose high.

"I look forward to it, Side." Crash promise looking up at Sideswipe with warmth in his optics that Margery had never seen there before.

Sideswipe leaned in.

_Surely he's going to head butt Crash, please let him head butt Crash . . .HOLY SHIT!_

Her mouth dropped open in shock.

Sideswipe was giving Crash an open mouth kiss. A long deep kiss.

Her eyes were seeing it, but the image being sent to her brain was having trouble processing it. Sideswipe was _KISSING _Crash. Not a peck, not a goofy silly wet cartoony kiss, but a deep and sexual kiss. She didn't know which was more shocking: Sideswipe kissing Crash or her getting aroused watching Sideswipe kissing Crash.

Sideswipe finally broke the kiss, but his forehead pressed against Crash's. "Something to remember me by."

"Yeah . . ." Crash whispered.

Sideswipe gave him a peck on the nose and rose to his feet. He stepped away from Crash and the desiring look twisted into his usual cheery grin. "Bye Maggie!"

With that, he transformed and sped off down the dirt road. Margery stared at the cloud of dust Sideswipe had thrown up behind him and then she directed her gaze at Crash.

Crash looked back at her with a tilt of his head. "Margery, your cigarette is burning a hole in the porch."

Margery looked down and saw the darkening spot with the glowing pulse in the center the source being her cigarette. She quickly stepped on it with her black shoe and grinded it out. Damn, next time Grandma Rose came over she was going to give another reason of why she should quit smoking.

"Crash?" She started after staring at the burned spot regretfully.

"Margery . . ." He replied watching her with steady aqua optics.

"You got something you might wanna tell me?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Margery."

Margery held up her hands in claws as if in a desire to strangle him. "Crash! You were just suckin' face with Sideswipe! SIDESWIPE!"

"I noticed." Crash chuckled.

If Margery had something in her hand, she would have hurled it at the giant mech. "When did . . .I mean . . .how did . . .uh . . .Dammit . . ."

Crash held up a hand to calm her. "What do you want to know?"

Margery took a quick breath. "When?"

"While you were held captive by the Decepticons."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"By the time we saved you, it had been two weeks later, by then it was old news, everyone knew about and I just never thought to set you aside and tell you about it. And I'm sorry about that, but . . .I thought you already knew or heard from somebody else."

"Okay, uh . . .how does Sunstreaker feel about you running around with his brother?"

Crash smiled. "I've been running around with Sunstreaker too."

The shock was so big, it felt prickles up her arms and her ears felt numb. "Crash . . .wha . . .oh my God . . ."

"No, no, it isn't like that. They both know, in fact, I'm . . .the Lamborghini brothers' boyfriend . . .as you would call it."

"You're going out with both of them?"

"Margery, I'm WITH both of them. You can't get one without the other." Crash's lip components tugged up into a smile.

Margery's jaw dropped. "And . . .this is okay with . . .the others . . .?"

Crash tilted his head and nodded. "I understand why you are uncomfortable with this, but Cybertronian relationships are a bit different from human relationships."

Margery took a seat on the first step of the porch and stretched her legs out before her. "Okay, explain it to me."

"Love for us, isn't restricted like yours." Crash explained bending one leg and tucking the other one under it. He folded his hands on his bent knee. "I don't have the words to explain it, but we're not restricted to just being in love with one and only one. Especially when it comes to gesalt groups."

"Gesalt . . .as in Constructicons, AerialBots, and Protectobots?"

"Yeah, they share minds each time they combine to create Devestator, Superion, and Defensor. So they have a link, a very strong mental link. I mean, they would have to cause they literally merge to form one giant robot. Because of this, they are always one, but with five different personalities and so forth . . .I'm probably not giving it enough detail, but this is what I know."

"So the twins are a gesalt too?"

"Yes and no. They are linked, Sideswipe once told me they're both split from the same spark and their relationship runs deep, deeper than brotherhood. Anyway, if I got into a relationship with like . . .Air Raid or Sky Dive . . .I would have five boyfriends."

Margery's eyebrows rose up again. "You mean . . .you and . . .Air Raid, Fireflight, Silver Bolt, Slingshot, and Sky Dive? All five of them?"

Crash nodded. "Honestly, I'm glad it's just Sideswipe and Sunstreaker . . . I wouldn't know what to do with five boyfriends . . .I barely got the stamina for two mechs . . ."

"Stamina?" Crash looked away and his face tightened in what she recognized as a Cybertronian blush. Margery's jaw dropped and unwanted images crept through her head. "Crash . . .is there something else about Cybertronians that I don't know about?"

Crash sighed through his intakes. "It's like how you humans do it. It's different. We calling it linking or linkup or interlock."

Margery didn't know what to say, so she stayed silent hoping he'll continue.

He did more than that. He lowered his knee and touched his torso, the stomach area, and opened a panel. Inside was switches and small lights, but his fingers flipped opened two small hatches. One was a port and the other was a cable which Crash drew out.

He held it up between thumb and finger. "This cable would plug into Sideswipes or Sunstreaker's port," he pointed at the port, "and we would send energy through it into the other . . .and . . .it feels really good when our energies synch up and peak . . ."

Margery stared. Holy shit . . .Crash just did the equivalent of a man unzipping his pants and showing off his thing. "Okay, okay, I get it, put it away . . .quick."

Crash carefully stowed away his cable and closed the hatches and panel. "Margery, it's not . . ." he thought of a word and came up with, "nasty. The cable and ports are not just for pleasure. We use them to exchange energy between each other and transferring information sometimes. These are important parts like . . .like your liver or kidney."

Margery could help, but still be relieved when he stowed away the cable, but yet . . .another thought came to her. "Hey, every time those two come around . . .each night . . .you guys go out riding. Have you guys really been riding?"

Crash gave her a very shy smile. "Not really . . ."

Margery closed her eyes and realized that Sideswipe earlier leer made more sense now. "I get the physicality and how you're with both of them . . .but why and how?" This was the million dollar question for her.

Crash raised his knee to get comfortable. "Well . . .honestly . . .I was at a weak moment and they were both drunk."

Margery drew up her legs and drew out another cigarette and lit up. "Go on."

"Like I said, it was two weeks before you were rescued. But before that I was a frizzing from worrying about you. I didn't know whether you were hurt, scared, or dead."

Margery glanced at her knees. It brought back memories of her cage, her sickness, and Soundwave's ever looming presence. She gave her head a small shake in hopes of distorting the memories. "Keep going, Crash."

"Well, one night . . .the night it happened . . .I didn't want to be alone so I went to visit Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. They were off duty that night so they had just came from the lounge overcharged, drunk, as you would say. I sat in their room and shared a high-grade energon cube with them until . . ." Crash blushed Cybertronian style, "Until Sunstreaker looked at me and guessed my original paintjob then Sideswipe suggested that they paint me."

Margery stared at Crash's nicely painted turquoise and burgundy paintjob. "This is their work?"

"Yeah. This is the paintjob they gave me that night." Crash ran a finger along the gold line separating the turquoise and burgundy paint along his knee. But before that . . .. well . . ."

"Weren't you shock?"

"Yeah . . .well . . .I . . .I had a thing for Sunstreaker beforehand . . .Sideswipe left to get the paints from repair bay and before he left he told Sunstreaker to . . . 'prep me' . . .then . . .Sunstreaker came onto me . . ."

"That musta been scary as hell."

"It was unnerving, I'll admit that. Here was this big scary, but beautiful warrior who I didn't think liked me very much all of a sudden talking to me so softly and gently stroking my helmet and . . ." Crash trailed off and his optics dimmed for a few seconds and then they brightened. "You don't need to know the details, but what shocked me the most was when Sideswipe returned and . . .joined in."

"Then after you guys did it, they painted you?" Margery kept her face tilted downward to had the flush in her face.

"Well . . .they did paint me . . .after the third or fourth time."

"Shit!" She hissed stunned.

Crash gave her a sheepish grin. "You can imagine I was exhausted in the morning."

Margery leaned forward and flicked ash from her cigarette onto the loose sand surrounding the porch. "So what sealed the deal? Sex automatically doesn't mean love."

"Actually, the twins wanted to have a one night stand with me . . .but then they kinda decided to keep me, but unfortunately they didn't let me know this . . .until they caught me having a drink with Jazz the next night."

Margery stared. "Jazz? You and Jazz?"

"It was just a drink. He . . .uhh . .. he asked me out for a drink." Crash looked away.

"Jazz asked you out?"

Crash straightened his back like a peacock spreading its tail feathers. "Well, don't I look nicer in turquoise and burgundy than I did in brown and green?"

Margery couldn't deny that. Crash looked cleaner and spiffier compared to his old dirty looking paintjob. "So what happened with Jazz?"

Crash took a deep breath, his intakes hissing softly, as if he was getting ready to take a leap. "Jazz was alright. We were at a table together and he was fun and I liked him . . .I was getting more than fully charged from the energon and bit . . .tipsy as you might call it, and Jazz was gently . . .coming onto me . . . it was just one kiss . . ."

"Holy shit. You kissed Jazz?"

"Almost. Sideswipe punched him in the head before contact could be made and Sunstreaker yanked me out of my seat away from Jazz."

Margery blinked. "A fight broke out over you? Holy shit!"

"Wasn't much of a fight to begin with. Jazz was outnumbered two to one and Prowl was nearby so he showed up before anything got serious. We were all marched to his office to explain what had happened, slag, it was embarrassing. I wanted to just deactivate on the spot."

"What happened? How did it end?" Margery begged.

"Sideswipe asked to speak with me in private. I didn't want to, but Prowl thought it was a good idea. So we went out into the hallway . . .I . . .he wanted to know why? At first I couldn't answer him." Crash was silent for a moment and Margery said nothing, knowing he would continue when he ready to.

"Margery, I honestly thought that that night was a one night stand. I never DREAMED that these two warriors would . . .actually want me . . .ME . . ." Crash touched his chest plate with both hands. "So I decided not to push my luck with them and leave them alone during the day. They had been busy that day with guard duty and Sideswipe had some prank planned or something . . .when Jazz asked me to go for a drink with him . . .it made me feel good and accepted. I . . .It's been a while since I got compliments . . .and from those that really mean them. I didn't mean to hurt Sideswipe or Sunstreaker . . .I really thought they were through with me and I had only wanted to avoid being rejected or hurt so . . .I didn't try to pursue them." He looked up at Margery and his optics dimmed only slightly. "But THEY pursued me . . .Sideswipe told me to give them a chance, to trust them with my feelings, and give them a chance and see where it goes."

"And how has it gone?"

"Good . . .wonderful." Crash smiled warmly. "They moved me into their quarters that night . . .those twins jump into everything headfirst."

"I see that Sideswipe really likes you, but Sunstreaker doesn't seem that emotionally enthuse with you. He didn't stick around to give you a goodbye kiss."

Crash rubbed his chin. "Well, it's hard to explain. He's not in love with me, but he's willing to share quarters with me and even linkup with me and share me with Sideswipe. Sideswipe is the one who gently wakes me up with soft kisses, its in his arms that I wake up in, he walks the Ark's halls with me tucked against his side, with an arm tightly around me . . .but like I said earlier, you don't get one without the other."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"A little bit sometimes . . .if I think too much about it, but this is Sunstreaker we're talking about. He's never going to be as loving as Sideswipe is, but . . .he can at least like me and that will be enough for me."

Margery toed the sand a bit with her shoe and asked, "How did they take to you living in Alabama and now in Oregon with them?"

"They weren't happy about it. Sideswipe especially. We argued about it and fought about it. Finally, I said, if you love me so much, then a continent shouldn't be enough to keep you away from me."

"Ah so you put it like a challenge to them."

Crash shrugged. "I guess. Since then it's been like this. We go up and see them every other weekend and they come down here when they can get enough leave time, and we call each other each night and e-mail."

Margery put out her cigarette in the sand. "Crash, I had no idea."

"It's okay."

Unspoken apology and unspoken forgiveness.

The screen door swung open and Sally's small face peeked out. "Rachel finished."

Margery looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Okay, honey, jes lemme go call Pizza Hut and tell 'em to get us a large cheese and an order of cinnamon sticks for us."

A good RPG is when the characters come to life and do things and interact with other characters in ways you never imagine. That's EXACTLY what happened in our game. Until one certain RP session, I had originally never intended for any of my OCs to have any kind of romantic relationships with any cannon characters. Tiamat roled played as the twins and captured their personalities and personas very very well, she is a true Lambo Freak. This chapter couldn't have been done with her and her knowledge of Transformer anatomy, (which is better than mine by the way).


End file.
